Disclaimer: The standard disclaimer applies. Fox Mulder belongs to 1013 and Fox Television. The other guy belongs to Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett. I intend no infringement.

Author's Note: Written for the X-Files Lyric Wheel, May 2006. Rated safe for everyone.


Strange Encounter

by Gyrfalcon

 

"I am the god of hellfire."

Mulder started violently and tried to twist around in a space barely wide enough for him to walk. Chasing suspects into a mine shaft normally wasn't his idea of an intelligent response, but this suspect had just shot four people, one of whom was his partner, and Mulder would be damned before he let a little claustrophobia get in his way. A voice from in front, even a voice behind him would make a certain amount of sense, but this voice seemed to come out of the wall beside him.

"Damn. Shit." Mulder cursed as his shoulder rammed into the wooden supports of the shaft.

"Right. I knew that was a corny line. Where does Hell get these scripts?" the voice asked in an extremely exasperated tone.

Mulder wondered if he had inhaled some sort of fungus that produced hallucinations. Usually that type of fungus grew in unopened tombs, not mine shafts, but this wouldn't be the first time he ran headlong into a scientific anomaly. Anomalies seemed to follow him around like cats to catnip.

"Now listen. I'm supposed to deliver this very pompous sounding speech full of fire, brimstone, end of the world sorts of warnings, but really, this is hardly the place."

"Who?" Mulder ventured carefully as he played the beam of his flashlight around the shaft half afraid he wouldn't find anyone and half afraid he would.

"This isn't normally my job, but you see there was this small favor I owed, so here I am," the voice said brightly.

Mulder jumped as the beam of the flashlight illuminated a tall, beautiful young man standing somewhat apologetically in the mine shaft wall.

"Hello, there, Fox. May I call you Fox? I know you prefer Mulder but Fox is a very nice name. Your mother spent a great deal of time choosing that name for you. It is a highly appropriate name given your penchant for digging out the truth."

The young man beamed in what Mulder assumed was meant to be a disarming smile, which might have been more effective under other circumstances. Mulder staggered back against the mine shaft wall shaking loose a large cloud of dirt.

"Stop that. You are not going to have a heart attack. Do you realize the trouble we'd both be in if you collapse now. You're supposed to save the world, not collapse from a heart attack."

Swallowing hard and waving his hand at the dust cloud, Mulder wondered whether he was dreaming, dead, or had finally lost his mind.

"You're certainly not dead or insane, but you can always think of this as a waking dream later if it makes you feel better," the young man said with a satisfied smile.

"Where's Samuelson?" Mulder demanded, trying to find a sane rock to stand on as his sanity collapsed?

"Oh, you mean the loutish fellow who ran past here about two minutes ago?"

"Yes," Mulder snapped. For some reason it didn't surprise him that he got an apparition who apparently had majored in vague.

"Oh, he's down a ways cursing the darkness. I would really suggest that you keep a tighter grip on that flashlight of yours. This is no place to be without light."

"Thanks," Mulder grumbled sarcastically. He didn't need reminding that the chalk marks he'd been making on the turns wouldn't be much use without a flashlight.

"No trouble. Now, as I was saying. Insert the usual dire, fatalistic warnings that would make this sound far more impressive, but the gist of the matter is that unless you abandon this search and get yourself back up top, the world is going to be in big trouble."

"Why does it need me?" Mulder asked wearily.

"Because you believe in the aliens. You have no idea of the diplomatic tangles these beings are creating. You are supposed to stop them, not die down here when your Mr. Samuelson sets off the methane gas when he tries to light a lantern. "

Startled out of his grumbling, Mulder stared at the figure. For a moment, his fire phobia locked down his brain and he had to fight to keep from turning around and bolting for the surface.

"Who are you?" Torn between suspicion and a desire to head for safety, Mulder forced out the question. He hadn't done Hell any favors, lately, and couldn't see why anyone there cared whether he lived or died.

"Well, you see, if the aliens take over, no one has jurisdiction over their souls. The Home Office hasn't even confirmed if they have souls. Chaos, my dear boy. Besides, I'm not representing Hell; just filling in for a friend," the young man said with an apologetic look on his face.

In a sudden flash of insight, Mulder realized that this being was likely an angel who just implied that he was doing a favor for a minion of Hell. Instantly, he realized that this was more information than he wanted to know and simply decided to treat this whole episode as a methane-induced hallucination. Besides the young man was drop-dead gorgeous and Mulder was fairly certain that entertaining carnal thoughts about celestial (or infernal) beings probably headed the list of things not to do.

"Now, just run along. You've got lives to save and all sorts of very interesting cases to solve," the young man said with an enthusiastic grin. "Just remember to stop the aliens," he added helpfully as he turned and disappeared into the wall.

"Hey, just how am I supposed to do that?" Mulder yelled, coughing as more dirt sprinkled over him. Damn flighty apparitions. He'd been trying to stop the conspiracy for years. Now this . . . whatever it was . . . just calmly appeared and announced that it was his responsibility to stop the whole takeover.

"Are you still there?" The voice came back faintly from the wall. "Do I really have to do the whole angelic halo and manifestation thing before you'll listen? Now, run!"

Mulder took another half second to glare down the tunnel before hurrying back the way he'd come. Fifty feet from the entrance, he heard a low rumble and felt the ground shiver beneath his feet. Spurred on by panic, he was still running when the blast roared in behind him and lifted him off his feet to fling him forward out of the mine, his burning suit trailing smoke behind him like a contrail.

As he lay there, listening to the sound of the mine exploding behind him, the medics swarmed over him. As they fitted the oxygen mask over his face and prepared to lift him onto a stretcher, one of the medics picked up something from the ground and stared at it with a strange, bemused look on his face.

"You must have a very vigilant guardian angel, Agent Mulder. I'd keep this if I were you," he said with a laugh as he pressed a single long white feather into Mulder's hand.

Mulder stared at it and wondered how long it would be before he would be able to persuade himself that the strange encounter underground was all a dream.

The End.


Fire (Arthur Brown) (sent by Dryad)

I am the god of hell fire, and I bring you
Fire, I'll take you to burn
Fire, I'll take you to learn
I'll see you burn

You fought hard and you saved and earned
But all of it's going to burn
And your mind, your tiny mind
You know you've really been so blind
Now 's your time, burn your mind
You're falling far too far behind
Oh no, oh no, oh no, you're gonna burn

Fire, to destroy all you've done
Fire, to end all you've become
I'll feel you burn

You've been living like a little girl
In the middle of your little world
And your mind, your tiny mind
You know you've really been so blind
Now 's your time, burn your mind
You're falling far too far behind
OOhhh
Fire, I'll take you to burn
Fire, I'll take you to learn
You're gonna burn, you're gonna burn
You're gonna burn, burn, burn, burn,
burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn, burn

Fire, I'll take you to burn
Fire, I'll take you to learn
Fire, I'll take you to bed

 

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